Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there’s nothing on earth Like a genuine, Bona fide, Electrified, Six-car Monorail! … What’d I say? Ned Flanders: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: What’s it called? Patty+Selma: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: That’s right! Monorail! [crowd chants `Monorail’ softly and rhythmically] Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud… Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud. Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend? Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend. Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs? Lyle Lanley: You’ll all be given cushy jobs. Abe: Were you sent here by the devil? Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I’m on the level. Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can. Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man. I swear it’s Springfield’s only choice… Throw up your hands and raise your voice! All: [singing] Monorail! Lyle Lanley: What’s it called? All: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: Once again… All: Monorail! Marge: But Main Street’s still all cracked and broken… Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken! All: [singing] Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! [big finish] Monorail! Homer: Mono… D’oh!
Ted Balaker is an award-winning filmmaker, journalist, and founding partner of Korchula Productions, a film and new media production company devoted to making important ideas entertaining.