The Onion does great satire because there stuff usually has that brilliant kernal of truth. One of their latest builds on the absurdity of beliefs about urban transit. Report: 98 Percent Of U.S. Commuters Favor Public Transportation For Others WASHINGTON, DCÃ¢â?¬â??A study released Monday by the American Public Transportation Association reveals that 98 percent of Americans support the use of mass transit by others. “With traffic congestion, pollution, and oil shortages all getting worse, now is the time to shift to affordable, efficient public transportation,” APTA director Howard Collier said. “Fortunately, as this report shows, Americans have finally recognized the need for everyone else to do exactly that.” . . . And it just gets funnier. APTA is kicking off a campaign to promote mass transit with the slogan, “Take The Bus… I’ll Be Glad You Did.” The campaign is intended to de-emphasize the inconvenience and social stigma associated with using public transportation, focusing instead on the positives. Among these positives: the health benefits of getting fresh air while waiting at the bus stop, the chance to meet interesting people from a diverse array of low-paying service-sector jobs, and the opportunity to learn new languages by reading subway ads written in Spanish.