Out of Control Policy Blog

My Very Own Monorail

Reason cartoonist Peter Bagge on monorail mania in his hometown, Seattle.

BTW, here's The Simpsons episode he mentions, and that famous song:

    Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
    Like a genuine,
    Bona fide,
    Monorail! ...
    What'd I say?

    Ned Flanders: Monorail!

    Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

    Patty+Selma: Monorail!

    Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!

    [crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]

    Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...

    Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.

    Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?

    Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

    Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?

    Lyle Lanley: You'll all be given cushy jobs.

    Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?

    Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

    Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.

    Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
    I swear it's Springfield's only choice...
    Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

    All: [singing] Monorail!

    Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

    All: Monorail!

    Lyle Lanley: Once again...

    All: Monorail!

    Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...

    Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

    All: [singing] Monorail!
    [big finish]

    Homer: Mono... D'oh!

Ted Balaker is Producer

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